Inside the Heart and Mind of a Lesbian Ninja

superwholockgiraffe:

superwholockgiraffe:

My mom and I gave my little brother one of these balloons a couple months ago, and a few days later he said it creeped him out because sometimes it would rub against his wall or the shadow would make him think there was a person in his room.
So, of course, for his 14th birthday we decided to buy 14 of them and fill his room when he was out. 
When he got back home and went upstairs we waited to see how he would react and weren’t disappointed when we heard loud screams and curses. 
Then, because I’m an asshole, I moved them into our guest room (aka, my dad’s closet) after my dad had fallen asleep.
I was woken up this morning by my dad screaming.
Clearly because this is a fantastic idea, whoever pisses me off will wake up surrounded by smiley balloons.
Let the games begin

My brother ate the last slice of cake

Enjoy your shower, motherfucker

superwholockgiraffe:

superwholockgiraffe:

My mom and I gave my little brother one of these balloons a couple months ago, and a few days later he said it creeped him out because sometimes it would rub against his wall or the shadow would make him think there was a person in his room.

So, of course, for his 14th birthday we decided to buy 14 of them and fill his room when he was out. 

When he got back home and went upstairs we waited to see how he would react and weren’t disappointed when we heard loud screams and curses. 

Then, because I’m an asshole, I moved them into our guest room (aka, my dad’s closet) after my dad had fallen asleep.

I was woken up this morning by my dad screaming.

Clearly because this is a fantastic idea, whoever pisses me off will wake up surrounded by smiley balloons.

Let the games begin

My brother ate the last slice of cake

Enjoy your shower, motherfucker

(Source: oswinandargent, via little-red-riding-thor)

catsbeaversandducks:

Don’t Be Sad, Look At These Baby Ducks

If you didn’t already know, baby ducks are pretty much precious little nuggets of joy. They have been clinically proven to cure depression and disease and all other problems because they are perfect.For now we will cure your sadness. In order to do so, you simply have to look at the following pictures of them. It’s an intense journey. Prepare yourself.

All the cuteness via BuzzFeed

(via sizzlebutts)

odditiesoflife:

Eerie Images of Ghosts Haunting the Historic Witches Prison

The images appear to show the ectoplasmic outlines of humanoid figures slinking around a historical landmark known as The Cage, a property previously used to imprison those accused of witchcraft. According to Vanessa Mitchell, current owner of the building, the two images were snapped without manipulation by spirit photographer Ron Bowers in front of a room full of onlookers.

At one time The Cage served as the village prison for all criminals in St Osyth, Essex in the United Kingdom, but is best known as the place that held infamous witch Ursula Kemp and fourteen other local women who were accused of witchcraft and subsequently hung in the late 1500s. It was alleged that Ursula used “familiars” to heal and/or kill her neighbors, acts she supposedly admitted to during questioning. But hey, they didn’t leave you much wiggle room back then.

In 1921, two female skeletons were discovered on the property, one of which was thought to be Kemp’s. The bones were then put on display as a sort of local curiosity.

Many paranormal investigators, including Vanessa Mitchell, believe that Ursula haunts the prison to this day. “I have seen three ghosts in there as clear as I could see someone living,” she wrote in a personal statement. “I also experienced activity that was unexplainable to me, i.e. [water] taps turning on and off, door latches rattling through the day and night, a coke can whizzing across the table, objects disappearing then turning up in unusual places or not turning up at all.. something walking up and down the stairs in the night, physical touch, aggressive touch, voices as if people talking to each other..”

The strange tales told by Vanessa and others only serve to make the ghostly images captured at The Cage even more intriguing.

(Source: whofortedblog.com, via cloversoup)

(via cloversoup)

hellolittledaisy:

harinef:


How Actress Laverne Cox Broke The Trans Glass Ceiling
In Neflix’s highly anticipated new series, Orange Is the New Black, a trans woman is actually played by…a trans woman.

I M P O R T A N T

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dduane:

bgtea:

hungrylikethewolfie:

dirtydirtychai:

star-anise:

last-snowfall:

snakewife:

hungrylikethewolfie:

dduane:


A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeii, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud. (via Ridiculously Interesting)

(sigh) I’ve seen these before, but this one’s particularly beautiful.

I feel like I’m supposed to be marveling over the fact that this is a loaf of bread that’s been preserved for thousands of years, and don’t get me wrong, that’s hella cool.  But honestly, I’m mostly struck by the unexpected news that “bread fraud” was apparently once a serious concern.

Let me tell you about the fake cronuts that are showing up on craigslist.

Bread fraud = stuff like using sawdust or dirt instead of flour. It was pretty damn common, and is but one of the things that makes me to laugh like a hyena when the ignorant start talking about the “pure, wholesome” food of days of yore.
In mediaeval London, and I presume other cities, where people were pretty much dependant on bakeries and other cookery-establishments for their food (because a: not enough room in your place of living, most likely, and b: large risk of burning it down), bread fraud could get your ear nailed to a piece of wood for first offence. Among other things, the inevitable scar left by yanking your ear off would warn future customers that you’d once been found guilty of this. Similar punishments were handed out for putting bad stuff in the ale that was the other part of the city-dweller’s daily fare.

In medieval England, in fact, bread fraud was such a problem that housewives would make their own bread dough, and bring that to the baker just for baking (rather than having a hot oven in their house). And then they STILL had to worry that the baker would steal their dough and replace it with crappy stuff.

Still waiting for that ancient rome + bakery + white collar crime AU. 

Look, if y’all don’t think that the Bread Fraud fandom is the tightest shit, I don’t even know what to tell you.

Best post of the night. :D

Okay, let’s just skip the pesky Actually Making The Series stage and go straight to the Bread Fraud gifsets. :)

dduane:

bgtea:

hungrylikethewolfie:

dirtydirtychai:

star-anise:

last-snowfall:

snakewife:

hungrylikethewolfie:

dduane:

A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeii, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud. (via Ridiculously Interesting)

(sigh) I’ve seen these before, but this one’s particularly beautiful.

I feel like I’m supposed to be marveling over the fact that this is a loaf of bread that’s been preserved for thousands of years, and don’t get me wrong, that’s hella cool.  But honestly, I’m mostly struck by the unexpected news that “bread fraud” was apparently once a serious concern.

Let me tell you about the fake cronuts that are showing up on craigslist.

Bread fraud = stuff like using sawdust or dirt instead of flour. It was pretty damn common, and is but one of the things that makes me to laugh like a hyena when the ignorant start talking about the “pure, wholesome” food of days of yore.

In mediaeval London, and I presume other cities, where people were pretty much dependant on bakeries and other cookery-establishments for their food (because a: not enough room in your place of living, most likely, and b: large risk of burning it down), bread fraud could get your ear nailed to a piece of wood for first offence. Among other things, the inevitable scar left by yanking your ear off would warn future customers that you’d once been found guilty of this. Similar punishments were handed out for putting bad stuff in the ale that was the other part of the city-dweller’s daily fare.

In medieval England, in fact, bread fraud was such a problem that housewives would make their own bread dough, and bring that to the baker just for baking (rather than having a hot oven in their house). And then they STILL had to worry that the baker would steal their dough and replace it with crappy stuff.

Still waiting for that ancient rome + bakery + white collar crime AU. 

Look, if y’all don’t think that the Bread Fraud fandom is the tightest shit, I don’t even know what to tell you.

Best post of the night. :D

Okay, let’s just skip the pesky Actually Making The Series stage and go straight to the Bread Fraud gifsets. :)

(Source: wine-loving-vagabond, via little-red-riding-thor)

bl00d-sugar:

I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES IM LEGITIMATELy DYING OF LAUGHTER RN

(Source: saramortis, via little-red-riding-thor)

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

(Source: sometimesoverwhelming, via cloversoup)

geniusbillionairesassmaster:

SO BASICALLY TODAY my stern English teacher was leaning around trying to catch someone’s eye to answer his question

I turned to my friend and accidentally sang

image

LOUDER THAN EXPECTED

AND THE WHOLE CLASS BURST INTO LAUGHTER AND MY ENGLISH TEACHER WAS JUST SO DONE BECAUSE HE HATES LES MIS

HE WENT TOMATO RED FROM LAUGHING AND PUT HIS HEAD DOWN ON THE DESK 

I.

BROKE.

MY ENGLISH TEACHER.

(Source: tonyspookr, via cloversoup)